


My Fantasy

by CoffeeFiend1980 (CaseyBenSullivan)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Fantasy, M/M, Rape Fantasy, Sexual Fantasy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-07
Updated: 2014-10-07
Packaged: 2018-02-20 07:19:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2419931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaseyBenSullivan/pseuds/CoffeeFiend1980
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So this is a fantasy I had about my big brother when I was in high school. I was totally in love with him but I knew it was wrong. I was turned on though and I really wanted to fantasize about him but I couldn't bring myself to fantasize about being the one to initiate it... for some reason I thought this was better. I don't know why, LOL. But recent events have reminded me about this fantasy and I wanted to share it with people who might enjoy it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Fantasy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [weekendgothgirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/weekendgothgirl/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Discovery of a Fantasy](https://archiveofourown.org/works/862299) by [CaseyBenSullivan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaseyBenSullivan/pseuds/CaseyBenSullivan), [weekendgothgirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/weekendgothgirl/pseuds/weekendgothgirl). 
  * Inspired by [Learning More About A Fantasy](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1128426) by [CaseyBenSullivan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaseyBenSullivan/pseuds/CaseyBenSullivan), [weekendgothgirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/weekendgothgirl/pseuds/weekendgothgirl). 



> Except for this note, this is a fictional piece of fiction "written by" one Mikey Way as an adult, the same Mikey Way in the linked works. Being written by Mikey in this fictional universe, this would have been original fiction by him, but I included the Mikey/Gerard pairing and the My Chemical Romance fandom so readers interested in this pairing and/or fandom could find this work. Thank you for reading.
> 
> Time frame: "Mikey" would have written and published this fantasy **after** the events of "Discovery of a Fantasy" and "Learning More About A Fantasy".
> 
> Underage = high school freshman / high school senior

I was lying in bed in the middle of the night. It was dark and a little chilly, because it was the beginning of fall, so I was wrapped up in my sheets and blanket, trying to fall asleep. I was almost there when I heard the front door open and close downstairs. I knew it had to be my brother, coming home from studying with his girlfriend. Our parents were out of town, so it was just me and him in the house.

I turned over in the bed to face the wall, slowing my breathing and doing my best to pretend to be asleep. I always avoided my brother this late at night, when it was dark and easier to let secrets slip out. Even if he might not be able to see the look on my face, I didn't know what I might say, or what he might hear in my voice. So it was easier to pretend to be sleeping.

After awhile, I heard the floorboards creaking as he came upstairs to get ready for bed. I listened to him brush his teeth and shower, and tried not to picture him naked. Not long after that, the door creaked and I heard it open slowly, and then nothing. He was just standing there. I could tell, I could feel it. I could feel the way he was looking at me, staring with his dark eyes and unwavering gaze.

My breathing sped up, feeling him watch me like that. I knew that shouldn't turn me on, but it did. Everything about my brother turned me on, and it was so wrong and so hopeless because I couldn't stop. I was sure he knew I was awake, but he didn't say anything, not then. He just kept watching me, while electricity sizzled over my skin.

I don't know how long it was before he came over to me. It felt like forever. I didn't know what time it was, even with church bells chiming the hour in the distance; I lost count of how many times they rang. It was late, I was hard, and my Catholic guilt was stirring in my stomach.

I felt my brother walk over to my bed more than I heard him. He walked right past his own bed by the door and all the way over to mine, watching me pretend to sleep as I grew more and more tense under his gaze. The mattress dipped as he sat beside me, and it startled me when I felt his hand on my head, stroking my hair. I tensed up at first, but then thought, why? It was just an innocent touch. An innocent touch and it felt so nice, made me feel loved and safe and close to my brother. I started to relax, and a soft hum escaped from my mouth. I froze for a second, but he kept on stroking my hair, not losing a beat. Finally, I relaxed completely, and that was when things got out of hand.

He lifted the blanket up off me, the weight of it leaving my skin and the chilly air making me shiver. My brother shushed me and stroked my shoulder, then down my side, down over my hip, to the top of my thigh. My breath hitched at the touch. I was turned on but nervous, because I knew I should stop this, but I didn't want to. Maybe if I just kept pretending to be asleep, it would be okay. I could keep on pretending and it wouldn't matter that I was letting him touch me like this.

My brother didn't let me pretend, though. He put his hand in a firm grip on my shoulder and pushed me onto my back, firmly, but somehow gently at the same time. I squeezed my eyes shut at first, but then, when I realized it was obvious that I was faking, I blinked my eyes open and looked up at him. He was just a blurry shape, of course, since I had taken off my glasses to go to bed, but I recognized his shape and his colors and the way he felt and smelled. I was so turned on, but scared at the same time. I didn't want to admit it, but I knew that he knew he shouldn't be doing this. I knew that he knew it was wrong, just like I did.

"Look at you," he said, and I could tell he was smiling. The room was starting to smell like sex, and I wasn't sure if it was just me, or if he'd had sex with his girlfriend before coming back home. I knew they'd had sex before. I'd seen it. They didn't know I'd seen it, unless they knew I was just pretending to be asleep those times I'm watched them. Maybe they'd done it on purpose. Now, I wasn't sure. "You want me."

I couldn't say anything, but I did squeak a little. That was kind of embarrassing. But my brother just laughed and took his hand out of my hair, moving his fingers down to stroke my cheek, instead. I turned into it, before I remembered that I wasn't supposed to want this. Then I turned my face away, and at first, he let me. He went on stroking my cheek, while his other hand traveled over my chest, fiddling with the buttons on my pajama top but not undoing them. I wanted him to unbutton my shirt, but at the same time, I didn't. I wanted to feel his fingers on my bare skin, but also, I didn't.

When his fingers reached my groin, I twitched in surprise and gasped deeply. That was when he grabbed my chin with that hand that had been on my cheek, and forced me to look at him. It was the first time he was violent with me. I gasped again as his fingers tightened on my chin, and he pressed his other hand firmly onto my hard cock. He squeezed my cock and laughed, a dark, evil laugh that sent chills down my spine.

"You *do* want me," he said, sounding triumphant, and began massaging my cock through my pajama pants. It felt so good, I couldn't help but rock up into it, my hips moving on their own. But through the haze of arousal, I knew it was wrong, I knew we shouldn't be doing it. I shook my head rapidly and he shushed me again, massaging me more firmly.

"No," I said weakly, and whimpered when his fingers tightened on my chin. Fuck, it was hurting me, and not in a good way. I tried to move out of his grip, but he just held on tighter. I felt tears welling up in my eyes. "I don't want you, this is wrong!"

"Wrong's just another word for things people don't approve of," my brother retorted. He took his hand away from my face, and I sighed in relief, thinking he was going to leave me alone, but he didn't. He used both hands to pull my pajama pants down from my hips to my knees, leaving me exposed in the cool air. And I knew I was exposed, because even if it was dark, my eyes had adjusted to the darkness, and I knew his probably had, too. He had to be able to see me, and he didn't have to wear glasses like I did. He could probably see me very clearly, especially with the moonlight shining in through the window.

"No, this is wrong," I insisted, wishing my voice didn't sound as whiny as it did. I wanted to sound confident, not unsure and scared. "You have to stop!"

"No way," he said with an evil laugh, burying one hand in my hair and wrapping the other around my cock. I cried out his name, and my voice sounded ecstatic rather than offended the way it should have. He stroked my cock as he tugged on my hair. "There, see? I knew you wanted me. I knew you would like this."

"I don't," I said, crying, but it was getting harder and harder to deny. He was stroking me in earnest now, his hand moving up and down on my cock, the way I liked to touch myself when I was alone or when he was asleep. I did my best not to thrust into his hand, but I couldn't help it. It just felt too good.

"Sure you do, little brother," he whispered, and the reminder that we were brothers made my skin flush with shame. He seemed to realize that, because he leaned down to whisper in my ear, saying, "That's right, little brother. You know you want me, even though you shouldn't. I'm not scared to admit it. I'm not scared to take what I want, and that turns you on, doesn't it?"

I was sobbing by now, unable to form words. Nothing had ever felt so good and so bad at the same time. The physical touch felt really good, his hand on my cock, his other hand tugging my hair just right. But it was wrong, knowing that we were brothers, that he was doing this to me even though I was asking him not to! It should have made me hate him, but it didn't. All I could think about was the need to orgasm.

"Good boy... good little brother," he whispered, his sweaty face pressed against my own. He didn't kiss me, which I was thankful for, but he kept on stroking me, bringing me to the edge of pleasure, encouraging me the whole time. "That's it, good boy... come for me, come for your big brother. You can do it, you can come for me, can't you, good boy?"

It was impossible to resist coming any longer. As much as I despised what was happening and especially how, it was true that I wanted it. I sobbed when I came, letting go of all the tension that had built up in me since he'd started touching me like this, and I spilled all over my skin and my pajamas, and probably his fingers as well. There was a slight smacking sound and I guessed that he was licking my come off his fingers, and that was so dirty and so wrong but it turned me on at the same time. I cried quietly and wanted to turn away, but I was too scared to move.

"Good boy," he said one last time. My brother lifted the sheet to wipe away most of the mess, then tucked me back into my pajama pants, wrapping me back up in my sheets and blanket. I rolled onto my side again, facing the wall again, and whimpered softly when he dropped a tender kiss onto my temple. As if he loved me, even after what he'd just done to me. And even though I knew it was wrong, even though he'd taken advantage of me, I knew I still loved him, too.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Sharing Fantasies](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3267428) by [CaseyBenSullivan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaseyBenSullivan/pseuds/CaseyBenSullivan), [weekendgothgirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/weekendgothgirl/pseuds/weekendgothgirl)




End file.
